Roadsign: BUT GOD

The door on our plans to adopt 'Thunder' and 'Lightning' was closed, so...

We looked to the God of the Universe in trust anticipating that His infinite creativity would weave both the good and bad of this situation into a lovely design; we humbly approached His throne and acknowledged that He is in control, nothing came to us before it passed through His hands; we asked that He not let our minds get entangled in tomorrow's concerns; we trusted that He would fully equip us to handle the difficulties He allowed in our lives; we refused to indulge in feelings of regret because they could quickly breed resentment; we affirmed that God is sovereign over our circumstances.

We acknowledged that He might let us bend, but He would not let us break.

We went through the fire, holding on right down to the wire.

We did not fear bad news, our hearts were steadfast trusting the LORD.

We cried.  We grieved.  But God never released our hearts to move on BECAUSE...

He knew the call would come...the one where our caseworker told us of the unexpected, the unlikely, the miraculous news that 'Thunder' and 'Lightning' were still available for adoption and we still had a chance to be considered for them.

The director of the orphanage in Chiquitines has requested that our dossier be transferred to her for review by their Committee!  An official referral allowing us to move forward with the adoption of these boys may be in our future after all.

The God who can do so many awe-inspiring things, immeasurable things, things greater than we could ever ask or imagine, has kicked the closed door WIDE open, and standing on the other side are two little boys still waiting for their forever family.  OUR boys...our 'Thunder' and our 'Lightning', the boys who have captivated our hearts and minds are still there...still waiting.  He never released our hearts to move on because He knew.  He knew that...

with Him all things are possible.

He is the author of this story.

All praise...all honor...all glory to His name.

The door WAS closed...

BUT GOD!!!

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."  John 14:18

Billboard: Don't forget what HE said

           God has been serenading me with this song the last few days.    

Billboard: "A Day Late & A Dollar Short"

By the time I got "the call" with an update on our situation with the boys, I had shed my fair share of tears.

Yesterday,  our caseworker told us that the orphanage in Cali, Colombia, where the boys reside began processing the paperwork to refer 'Thunder' and 'Lightning' to another family.

The door that was open for them to be a part of our family had closed.

What the orphanage director in Cali did not count on when the proceedings to refer the boys to another family began is that our dossier had been APPROVED on Tuesday at the orphanage in Bogota, Colombia, and was ready to be transferred to Cali so that we could receive an official referral for the boys...

apparently, despite the amazing efforts of our agency to process the requested addendum so quickly, and the Bogota orphanage director's willingness to review it immediately, we were...

"a day late and a dollar short".

BUT God is always on time and that is the truth we are clinging to.  He is the God of the unexpected, the unlikely, and the impossible.  Regardless of our circumstances, He is good and He doesn't change.

True Princess G.A. cried out from her bed last night, "Momma, come quick!"  Her voice quivered as the tears rolled down her cheeks.  "I need you.  I think my heart is falling out!  I can't believe the boys won't be coming home to us, Momma......"

After sobbing and rocking in my arms, we prayed.

She started and it went like this, "Dear God, thank you for this beautiful day and all the blessings you provide our family.  God, please, bless 'Thunder' and 'Lightning' in their new family.  We are so happy that there are two less orphans in the world tonight.  And soon there will be four less because we know you will bring OUR boys home soon.  In Jesus' name, AMEN."

What a lesson in sacrifice and selflessness for ones so young.

What a lesson in faith for us all.

And so ends another chapter in the story of our journey on 'the Adoption Highway'.

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Psalm 73:26

Billboard: Easier Said Than Done

You can ask almost anyone who knows me, especially my children, and they will tell you that I love words.  I love quotes.  I love phrases.  I love scripture verses.  I love things that inspire.  I love things that motivate.  I love things that comfort.  I love truth.

One phrase that my children have grown up hearing me repeat again and again is,

"Say what you mean and mean what you say."

They have also heard me admit,

"Some things are easier said than done."

I meant every word of the post I published yesterday.  But the truth is, sometimes things are easier said than done.  I know the reality of the situation we are facing with 'Thunder' and 'Lightning'.  I know the necessity of embracing PLAN B today and in the days to come.  But the truth is, some things are easier said than done.

I'll be doing the dishes, folding laundry, driving to carpool, helping kids with homework, walking to the mailbox...and the tears just begin to flow.  They run down my cheeks, hot and wet in a seemingly endless stream.  As the tears flow, there is a gripping ache in my chest.  My heart swells.  The picture in my mind's eye is of 'Thunder' and 'Lightning' and the thought of losing them makes me breathless.

Aside from playing soccer, "Thunder's" favorite sport is swimming.  Every time my kids are in the pool, I see "Thunder" with them....diving, racing down the slide, turning the pool noodle into a horse and riding like a cowboy, laughing and laughing.  And I see "Lightning" watching the big kids with a smile on his face as he tries to do everything they're doing.  I see him climbing in the tree house, swinging on the tire swing, and playing in the sandbox pushing toy trucks around, making big sand castles and mud pies.  I see them at the dinner table.  I see them in their bedroom.  I see them in our life.

Knight-in-Shining Armor calls them "our boys" when he shows off their picture.  Fair Maiden L.K. carries a binder to school with their picture on the cover and a caption that says, "The boys who will complete our family...my brothers from Colombia".  Kind-Hearted Warrior S.T. talks about all of things they will be doing together with their dad...building, fishing, planting, going for rides on BIG equipment at the shop.  And then there is True Princess G.A. who has completely embraced her brothers and assures me that she will walk them to class everyday and go by their classrooms to get them on her way to carpool so they don't get lost or think they'll get left behind.  Her prayers are bold and straightforward,

"Dear God, don't give our boys to someone else.  They belong here with us."

These are two little boys a continent away that I have never met.  I've never heard their voices or touched their faces.  I have never felt the warmth of their embrace or kicked a soccer ball with them.  I don't know their favorite color or their favorite food.  I only know that when our caseworker read "the report" on each of them to us, my heart swelled.  They sounded just like "my boys".  And when we received a picture of them side by side, cheek to cheek, arms around each other, I cried and I squealed with delight,

"They are so stinkin' cute I can't stand it!"

Today the tears come without much warning and they pack an emotional punch.  It is easier said than done, but today I am going to take every thought captive and make every effort to bring glory to the One who made me by living out PLAN B, the wise choice...the only choice.

This journey on 'the Adoption Highway' comes with risks, there are no guarantees, timelines are arbitrary, hearts do get broken...

BUT GOD. 



Words of wisdom sent to me yesterday from an ordinary angel:

"Friend, our God is big, huge GINORMOUS!!!  He's got this all under control.  Stay focused...do not lose heart!!"

Caution: "Not Happy News"

When our caseworker called yesterday and said, "I have an update for you, but it's not happy news.  Should I get your husband on the other line before we talk?", I braced myself for the worst.

She revealed that there is a likelihood we could lose 'Thunder' and 'Lightning' due to the fact that our dossier is going through the approval process at an orphanage in Bogota rather than the orphanage in Cali where the boys are residing.

The details of the story are insignificant because nothing will change the fact that this is where we are.

Our dossier isn't going to be moved.

The boys are not going to be placed on "hold" for us while we go through the approval process at another orphanage.

If there is another family available for the boys, the other family will likely be given the referral.

At this point, we have a choice.

PLAN A:  We can let our minds take control of this situation focusing on every negative possible outcome; we can look backward longing to fix mistakes that were made; we can ask "why?" when we know there are no good answers; we can wallow in an endless pit of "if only's" and "what if's"...

OR

PLAN B:  We can look to the God of the Universe in trust anticipating that His infinite creativity can weave both the good and bad of this situation into a lovely design; we can humbly approach His throne and acknowledge that He is in control, nothing comes to us before passing through His hands; we can ask that He not let our minds get entangled in tomorrow's concerns; we can trust that He will fully equip us to handle the difficulties He allows in our lives; we can refuse to indulge in feelings of regret because they can quickly breed resentment; we can affirm that God is sovereign over our circumstances.

In this case PLAN B is the wisest choice.

"The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."  Zephaniah 3:17

Today we choose to stand on the Rock because we know that all other ground is sinking sand.

"A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all."  Psalm 34:19

It's not  easy.  It's a challenge to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus when the circumstances of our life bring such frustration and disappointment.  It's not easy to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus when a storm of unanswered questions rages in our heads.  It's not easy to face the gaping jaws of uncertainty that prowl on 'the Adoption Highway'.


"Humble yourselves therefore under God's mighty hand , that he may lift you up in due time." 
1 Peter 5:6


It's not easy, but it is NECESSARY to ally ourselves with the One who has overcome the world because together is the only way we can handle whatever this day brings.

"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD."  Psalm 112:7


On the bright side, our finalized home study addendum was received by our agency yesterday...a miracle in and of itself!  It will be on its way to Colombia soon for presentation and review by the adoption Committee at the orphanage in Bogota.

We also received our FBI CLEARANCE letters six weeks ahead of schedule...another miracle in and of itself!  So....


"But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me."  
Micah 7:7

At the heart of the matter are two little boys.

They have waited two and a half years for a family, and somewhere deep in my heart I know that they should not have to wait a day or an hour or a minute longer than necessary to find a place called home because everyday without a family matters.  These boys really should not have to wait for the uncertain day of our dossier approval by another orphanage if there is a family already approved for siblings ages 0-8 at the orphanage where they reside.  Both the children and the family deserve to be matched right away...I have been on this highway long enough to know the agony of waiting and no one should have to endure without just cause.

I cannot say that without crying, but in my heart I know it's true.

We will not know until the day of our own dossier approval if 'Thunder' and 'Lightning' will be available to be adopted by our family.  We have been told to prepare for the likelihood that they will not...

BUT, I am placing my faith in God.

I know that WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE and He is a God of UNLIKELY things!

"Jesus replied, 'What is impossible with men is possible with God."  Luke 18:27

Warning: The Enemy is Still Lurking

Whether you are a weary traveler trudging along beside us on 'the Adoption Highway' or whether your journey has just begun and you are cruising down the road at a steady pace, one thing is certain, getting to your destination is long and hard.

You will encounter delays, pot holes, detours, unforeseen twists and turns, wrong directions, flat tires, and empty gas tanks.  The journey will bring you to new places of desperation and dependence then propel you forward with renewed hope and excitement.

The highs are very high.

And the lows, well, the lows can be very low.

Doubt, fear, discouragement, impatience, and apathy lurk around every bend.  There is an enemy on the highway and he is out to destroy you.  Sometimes there are choices to be made that you do not feel equipped to make...they were not part of the plan...they were not on the original road map.

Communication is not always clear.  Expectations are not always met.  The phone doesn't always ring when you expect it to.  Emails don't arrive "on time".  Things can get lost in translation when dealing with staff in foreign countries.  Rules change.  Laws change.  Things happen...not always for the best.

This journey is not for the faint of heart.

After submitting our Letter of Intent last week to formally adopt 'Thunder' and 'Lightning', we expected our dossier documents to be sent to the orphanage where the boys are residing.  Here the dossier documents would be presented to, and reviewed by, the Adoption Committee at Chiquitines this week.  Once approved, we would receive an official referral for the boys.

Receiving dossier approval is the only way we can receive an official referral to move forward with the adoption of the boys we have been matched with in Cali, Colombia.

On Tuesday, our agency made us aware that our dossier was not submitted to Chiquitines in Cali, Colombia, but to another orphanage in Bogota, Colombia.  It was reviewed at said orphanage on Monday and because it had already been presented to the Committee there, it must stay there for the remainder of the approval process.  Once approved there, we will file a letter asking for a transfer of the approved dossier to the orphanage in Cali where the boys are residing.

After being approved, God willing, the dossier will be transferred to Chiquitines.  Once received there,  a Committee can hand out an official referral for the boys and we will be able to move forward with our plans to bring them home.

Yesterday we received an update and a letter stating that our dossier was not approved by the Adoption Committee at the orphanage in Bogota where our dossier was delivered.  We will need to provide an addendum to our home study addressing answers to very specific questions posed by the Committee.  After the addendum is written, notarized, apostilled, sent to Colombia, and translated, it will once again be presented to the Committee at said orphanage for review.  At that time it may or may not be approved.  Further questions may be asked.  More information may be required.

In the meantime, two little boys wait to come home.

This journey is not for the faint of heart.

"They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the LORD." 
Psalm 112:7

Road Sign: A Match Made in Heaven

I received an email on Friday, April 27th that stated I could expect a phone call from our caseworker and her team on the afternoon of Thursday, May 3rd.  She, our caseworker, was going out of town on an extended vacation, therefore she wanted to introduce me to her supervisor whom would be handling the details of our case in her absence.

We were also hoping for an update on Plan A.

Thursday came and Thursday went.  No phone call.  At the end of the day, I was disheartened, but strangely at peace.

Friday was measuring up much the same way.  It was about to come and go with no phone call.  Closing time was quickly approaching.  I hesitated, then...

At 5:50pm (EST), I picked up the phone to dial her number.  It rang once.  She answered.  We talked.  As I hung up the phone, well after closing time, I was now mentally and emotionally prepared to move forward with Plan B.

Plan A seemed to be slipping through our fingers.

Approximately twelve minutes later, the phone rang.  The caller ID read Gladney Center for Adoption.

Strange.

The voice on the other end of the line was hers, our caseworker.  She was calling back with a funny story.  While we were on the phone, she received an email from the orphanage we were waiting to hear from.

It was an email in reference to Plan A.

In the next surreal moment she said,

"Would you like to meet your boys tonight?  I'll call your husband and get him on the line.  Tonight is the night!"

What followed is a wrinkle in time that I will NEVER forget...

We "met" Thunder first.  He is eight years old.  He is an athlete.  He is a good friend and a good student.  He is respectful.  He has the most beautiful smile in all the world.  His hair is curly and dark.  Knight-in-Shining Armor thinks he's dashing.  He also thinks he's a ham.

Then we "met" Lightning.  He is four years old.  He is learning to follow the rules and is not sure he likes to play by himself!  He is friendly and smiles easily.  His eyes say "LOVE ME!".  His cheeks say "PINCH ME!".  I think he's gonna be a momma's boy...a real momma's boy...and I am just fine with that.

I think they are both P.E.R.F.E.C.T.

What we were not prepared for was the information contained in Lightning's medical report.  When we google translated the paperwork, we found reasons for concern.  The next couple of days would send us into a tail spin as we researched and consulted and asked questions and studied doctors' responses.

We had no idea how to respond.

Our hearts had already been given away, but dealing with a condition we never anticipated having to deal with was clouding our view of the future.  These were our boys, the answer to prayer in so many ways...their ages, their gender, their location in Colombia, their social history, their personalities, their background, the timing of the match, even the months of their birthdays, BUT, there was one big BUT.

God in all His goodness came to the rescue.

He aligned every detail of the following days to calm our fears and confirm His Plan A for our family.  His hand in this journey has been UNDENIABLE.  He had introduced us to the boys that He had chosen to be a part of our family.  It was time.  Our paths had crossed and we would never be the same again.

Yesterday, while at the dentist's office for a routine check up and cleaning, my very sweet hygienist gave me a verse of scripture that she thought would be meaningful to me at this point in our journey.  She pulled it up on the computer screen that sat beside the exam chair where I was reclined, and she let me read it for myself:

"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD."  Psalm 112:7 

Goose bumps ran over my body and I choked up with tears.  It was clear to me that God had commissioned yet another ordinary angel to speak a truth into my life...a truth that would shape our future as we were about to become a family of seven.


The Lord waited patiently for us to process the choice we had to make until we were so overwhelmed by the certainty of this situation that we unanimously cried out,

"YES!  Yes, Lord, these are the boys from Colombia who will complete our family."

On Friday, May 4, 2012, a match was made in heaven.

Yesterday afternoon at 2:00, we sent our Letter of Intent to the Adoption Director at Chiquitines Orphanage in Cali, Colombia, and stated with enthusiasm that it was our heartfelt desire to adopt "Thunder" and "Lightning".

Humbled, and, oh, so happy!