Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Speed Limits, STOP Sign, and Lane Change

The "Adoption Highway" is clearly marked with speed limit signs.  It is a bit like taking the scenic route to your destination.  You make some ground at cruising speed between the mile markers before you slow down to pass through an approaching town.  Exiting town, you restablish cruising speed between mile markers on the way to the next town.  With each leg of the journey speed limits change.

Based on our experience, the first few days on the highway are wide open.  The speed limit is at a maximum and there are few patrols to slow you down.  You set your pace and GO!  You race from mile marker to mile marker completing the agency application requirements.  The first changing speed limit sign will precede the Homestudy...then another as you enter the Homestudy Approval zone, then the Application Approval zone, then the USCIS Application Submission zone,  and again as you enter the USCIS Fingerprinting and Approval zone.  There will be bursts of speed on open highway between each of these major road signs, but in general, it is a slow go....stop signs, lane changes, u-turns, red lights, construction zones, and the like. 

We were cruising along at maximum speed as we approached the Homestudy zone.  It is here that we came to our first screeching halt.  A STOP sign that we almost missed.

From day one on the "Adoption Highway", we set out to bring home a baby boy from baby boy from Honduras.  In the early days, the decision brought much joy, anticipation, and excitement, but for me there was no PEACE.  I have come to know peace as the assurance that I am in God's will.  This decision to adopt one child, though exciting, was not peaceful.  The voice of God thundered through scripture in my daily quiet time.

God was preparing my heart, not for "one less", but two.  Peace transcended when I embraced this idea and I knew that once again He had trumped our plans.

Proverbs 19:21  "Many are the plan's in a man's heart, but it is the LORD'S purpose that prevails."

When I presented the idea to my husband, I was met with great resistence...a complete unwillingness to discuss the matter.  He said that I should be grateful for the opportunity to adopt one child.  He was not going to consider the idea of adopting two requiring two bedrooms, two more dinner plates, two more college tuitions.

I prayed. 

I prayed for God to unify our thoughts, to make us like-minded, of one accord, united in spirit and purpose.   Adopting two children was NOT my idea.  It was His and He would have to do the work in my husband's heart if it was indeed His will.

Gary and I did not discuss the possibility of adopting siblings again.  For days leading up to our homestudy, we sat at that STOP sign on the "Adoption Highway".

I prayed.

The homestudy was scheduled.  It was imperative that we know our desires by then because it would need to be clearly stated in this report how many children we intended to adopt.  If we were approved through our homestudy to adopt one child and later changed our mind to bring home more than one, paperwork and approvals would have to be amended to reflect our new intent.  These types of delays were not something we wanted to deal with down the road.  Our desire needed to be clearly stated NOW.
On March 7, 2011,the day before our homestudy visit with the social worker, lightning struck.  Gary had come by the house in the middle of the day and took me into the garage for a talk.  "If you want to adopt two children from Honduras, I am fine with that."  A man of few words, that was it.  That was the talk.  God had broken Gary's heart.  He had penetrated it with a lightning bolt and the heat from the flame had set him on fire to bring home not one, but two little boys from Honduras.       

After coming to a complete STOP, we stepped off the brake and accelerated.  In the process, we changed lanes.  Obediently, we were cruising in the sibling lane.  This time not only excited, but with a new bumper sticker right next to our tag (license plate) that PEACE.

1 comment:

  1. Wow!!! Hello My name is Jennifer. while browsing the internet looking for a speedy adoption from Honduras, I came across your story. I wanted to share with you that i can so relate. We are also adopting from Honduras and boy oh boy has it been a roller coaster ride. We have been to Honduras numerous times to visit our precious daughter. If you would like to chat please feel free to email me I would love communicate with you our similar stories.
    God Bless and many blessings for your adoption process