I have felt the attacks of the enemy hard and heavy the past couple of weeks.
He knows my weakness well and begins every ambush by circulating doubts. As the doubts of other people regarding older child adoption and our country of choice swirled around the internet, in my mind they became full blown fears. Being stuck in the muddy mire of the paperwork process, it was the perfect time and place to wage war on me.
I was already vulnerable due to my frustration with all the hoops and red tape and processes and procedures to be followed in completing our dossier paperwork. To a logical mind it all seemed so illogical. On the brink of insanity from doing the same thing over and over again to no evident end, there were bound to be days when I wondered if what I was doing was really worth it.
Would it ever end? Would there ever be seven plates at the dinner table? Seven Easter baskets to hide? Seven pair of shoes in the mudroom? Seven stockings hanging on the mantle?
As I longed for SEVEN, it was so hard to focus on the ones I already had. As I prayed, asking God to continue preparing my heart, I found it harder and harder to be without Thunder and Lightning.
My family is incomplete.
I don't want Thunder and Lightning to miss another morning devotion, another day at school, another game of freeze tag in the backyard, another batch of homeade cookies, another bike ride, another family celebration, another bubble bath, another bedtime story, another goodnight kiss, another hug, another "I love you".
I don't want them to miss another ANYTHING and yet they are still so far away. My mind often wanders to that place...that place where they are. I often wonder if there is a stirring in their hearts as well? Do their minds ever wander to this place...this place where we are? sigh
I know that these attacks are a direct result of saying, "YES!" to the mission, "YES!" to the command. The attacks are a direct result of being obedient to an Almighty God. The enemy fears the loss of another soul as orphans are rescued and find loving homes.
Thankfully, our caseworker has been like a breath of fresh air to me at a time when I have been suffocating under the strangle hold of the enemies doubts and fears. She reports that the Colombian program is moving! Families are traveling every month to unite with their children and bring them home.
There is currently a need for families willing to adopt children ages 0-35 months...a need for families willing to adopt sibling sets where one child is over the age of 8...families willing to adopt a single child over the age of 8...families willing to adopt children of all ages with special needs.
Colombia and its government are motivated to serve the orphans and that makes all the difference in the world when it comes to adoption. Colombian adoption is a success story and there is a light at the end of this long, long tunnel.
Thanks to God for the way that He has so unmistakably orchestrated this entire journey. He is so beautiful.
Worship is the perfect retaliation to enemy attacks. Focusing on the doubts and fears is disabling. Focusing on Him arms you for the battle. You will be victorious. The enemy will be defeated.
"My eyes are ever on the LORD, for only he will release my feet from the snare." Psalm25:15
Today, our Colombian dossier is nearly complete. The medical suitability certificate is next on our list to get done. A traveling notary will have to accompany us to witness the doctor's signature on the paperwork after the lab results are reviewed...all part of the insanity that gets us one step closer to being united with Thunder and Lightning.
And, yes, it IS all worth it. Every insane, illogical, irrational, absurd request IS worth it!
No doubt, older child adoption is for us. No doubt, Colombia is for us.
"Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong." 1Corinthians16:13